Getting Back Into Blogging

It's been over a month since I lavished this corner of the internet with attention, irrelevant GIFs, gratuitous crap gig photos and over-filtered selfies. It's true what they say - working in retail sucks every iota of joy out of life. By that, I mean I haven't even had chance to catch up on Corrie. However, last week I was at home from work with cracked ribs, so my chance to re-evaluate my blogging existence came at a price... to be exact, the cost of 3 prescription painkillers including codeine that slaps the energy right out of my already lifeless body. In the midst of ice bucket challenge binges and the organised worship of the new daytime telly god Judge Rinder, I've found my spark to get my arse back here and do something completely pointless for your entertainment. By way of apology for the absence, I've come back to explain the range of emotions bloggers go through... coming back. The paranoia, the anxiety, the blood, the sweat, the tears. You thought blogging was easy?

First things first, time to remember you actually have a blog. Probably paying £2 a month for your domain, advertising in your Twitter bio and still calling yourself a blogger in casual conversations with strangers. But lo, there's this website you once used to call home. And it's BEAUTIFUL.

Follower number... don't look at the follower number, and whatever you do, don't be offended if it's gone down. It's your own fault, you abandoned them.

ESPECIALLY don't look at the pageviews. It's not worth the stress.

I've gained a follower?!

I wonder what everyone else thinks of me for not updating...

Then the fear of finding the overload of comments insulting you.

The indirect tweets in blog chats about 'inactive bloggers'.

Right, so that's the worst over with. Now what do I write about?

Do I conform to my old publishing pattern? Do I delay this a further few days to spare the embarrassment of uploading on a Tuesday?

Is this really me? Hang on, let me read through my old posts, my writing style might have changed.

OH GOD I USED TO WRITE SO MUCH.

I CAN'T LIVE UP TO THESE COLOSSAL EXPECTATIONS.

Just press 'publish', get it over with, don't look back.

How does this story end? Well it's all up to you. However you guys react to me coming back to this hallowed graveyard of fellow zombies is entirely up to you. All I know is I've missed this place and I don't intend on abandoning it any time soon. Or ever. Sorry not sorry.