Monday, 3 June 2013

A Zombie Without Eyeliner.


I suppose all beauty bloggers have contemplated this kind of post, then immediately scrapped it for the sake of maintaining what beauty we have left when make up is generously lathered on our faces. Until now, I was exactly the same, contemplating releasing my unmodified visage to the internet, but setting it aside with the thought 'but what if someone SEES it?'. We all know what society did to the Hunchback Of Notre Dame, right? 

Thankfully, I've been through a lot of positive changes in my life lately, thanks to the acquisition of a new man friend in my life who has bestowed upon me the gift of self esteem, which I've lacked for my entire teenage years. So now I'm more than ready to unleash this fresh hell upon your eyes, so feel free to gasp, feel free to gawp, thankfully you're all hiding behind computer screens so you can't actually do it to my face. But I will seek legal aid should I find one of you outside my bedroom window determined to catch a glimpse of the real freak show. There's a small fee for ringside seats.

As you can see, I have dark circles. Incredibly dark circles. They're hereditary, it's not because I had a long night and no sleep. I often used to get comments from teachers to that effect, but in an obscure way it's almost nice to know people are concerned. I've used an excess of concealer on them since I was about 8, my mum used to help me lather on a No.7 cover stick every morning because I'd had a fair few derogatory comments from fellow pupils at school. To think that children develop the habit of bullying that early makes me fear for our society, but it's just my luck I had the treatment from an early age. Hence where my Zombie title hails from. I was often compared to the living dead because of those, and while I was mortified and livid at the time, it's taken me half of my life to turn it on it's head and create a positive out of looking like a walking cadaver. 

While the lighting isn't that great, it's hard to tell I have very strange redness around my nose. A 'friend' at college ever so politely once asked 'what's that on your nose? It looks like it's been stitched on!'. A reference to Frankenstein's monster? Do people not see that comparisons between me and fictional undead creatures do not serve as effective insults?

I'm aware that I suffer with bad skin. Again, hereditary. No matter what cleanser I try, if anything it makes my sensitive skin worse. Some retaliate with the 'it's just clearing out your skin, you're bound to break out initially' spiel, to which I respond with 'I don't think 4 months of consistent breakouts from a cleanser correspond with your argument'.

And now perhaps you can see my biggest bugbear - my eyes look dead without eyeliner or eyeshadow. While some days I can go without eyeliner to save time, I still avoid looking people in the eye in case they assume they're conversing with the undead.

If by posting this, I've helped someone feel a little more confident about themselves, then mission accomplished. I'm no longer afraid of people seeing my face without makeup, but it's a matter of self preservation and confidence that keeps me wearing it. A girl's allowed to make herself pretty, right?

Are you confident enough to go out without makeup?

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4 comments:

  1. I think teachers have a knack for saying the wrong thing sometimes! Thank you for posting this, it's nice to see your confidence in bare skin! xxx

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  2. Go you! Your so brave for posting this, I look so odd without eyeliner but I'm braving it today as I developed a sty and don't want to germ up my eyeliners lol! Sometimes you just have no choic. Good luck with your man friend :)

    Jamie-Lee | Glitter Infatuation | Beauty & Lifestyle Blog!

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  3. You go girl, your look fabulous anyway :) I know what you mean about eyes, my just look terrible with nothing on, I now kind of want to do this post haha. I saw on instagram about your man friend, oo0 :) good luck xo

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  4. I prefer to wear makeup but I find as I get older I am way less self-conscious about my flaws. I wear makeup now more because I enjoy it and not just to cover stuff up! Also, I think we are all harder on ourselves than other people are. I didn't notice most of the things you mentioned in this post in your makeup-free photo, I think you look just fine!

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